Couples therapy
You're not speaking different languages. You're both just trying to be heard.
Couples therapy in Newport Beach, Fullerton, & online throughout California
My approach draws on attachment principles, which means we'll look at how each of your individual histories is shaping the patterns you're stuck in right now. I work with the relationship itself, meaning that, rather than taking sides, I work with the couple as a unit. Together, we'll get curious about the patterns creating distance between you, build more satisfying ways to connect, and strengthen the foundation you're standing on.
You might be here because
You keep having the same argument, or you've stopped having it altogether because it never goes anywhere.
You're in a big life transition, a new baby, a career change, an empty nest, and it's putting more strain on the relationship than either of you expected.
Things are actually fine, and you want to do some preventative work now, before "fine" turns into something harder.
You want more intimacy and emotional closeness than you currently have.
You and your partner communicate so differently that it feels like you need a translator just to have a normal conversation.
You feel like you're speaking entirely different languages, even when you're both trying.
One or both of you feels unheard, unseen, or like the other person stopped really listening a while ago.
You're not sure anymore if you want to stay together, and you need clarity more than you need anyone telling you what to do.
The same conflicts keep resurfacing no matter how functional and capable you both are everywhere else in life.
You're preparing for marriage & seeking premarital counseling to explore your attachment histories and expectations before beginning your lifelong commitment.
the process
➀
Creating Safety
Our first sessions focus on building a space where you can both be honest, even about the hard stuff. I'll help you start to see the patterns in your relationship and what's happening underneath the conflict.
➁
Developing Understanding
As we work together, you’ll gain insights into how your individual histories and attachment styles are shaping the relationship. This understanding often brings compassion where there was previously frustration.
➂
Learning to Show Up for Each Other
As things progress, you'll both get better at noticing what the other actually needs, and responding to it. That builds a foundation where you can both feel seen, which makes more vulnerability and closeness possible.
➃
Deepening Connection
As the patterns that have been creating distance get addressed, a lot of couples find their bond gets stronger, not despite their differences, but because there's more room for both of you to be yourselves while still choosing each other.
COUPLES THERAPY
Frequently Asked Questions
What does an attachment-based approach to couples therapy look like?
An attachment-based approach to couples therapy is interested in more than communication skills or conflict techniques. It asks how each partner's emotional history, attachment experiences, and unconscious expectations shape how they show up in the relationship — including in moments of conflict, distance, and intimacy. When couples keep having the same fight or feel the same fundamental disconnection despite genuine effort, something beneath the surface is usually driving it. In couples therapy with me, we slow down those patterns. We look at what each partner is carrying from their own history, how those two histories interact in the relationship, and what each person actually needs. The goal is not conflict resolution as a technique. It is genuine understanding of each other and of the relational dynamic you have built together, so that something different becomes possible.
When should a couple consider couples therapy?
You don't have to be in crisis to benefit from couples therapy. Some couples come in after years of the same argument going nowhere. Others come during a significant life transition — becoming parents, navigating a career change, or preparing for marriage. Some couples come proactively to strengthen a relationship that's already good. If you find yourselves feeling disconnected, unheard, like you're speaking different languages, or if the same conflicts keep cycling without resolution, that's a meaningful signal worth paying attention to.
Do both partners need to want to come to therapy?
Ideally, yes — both partners being genuinely engaged in the process makes a real difference. That said, one partner being more hesitant than the other is very common and nothing to be ashamed of. I invite both of you to the initial consultation and work to create a space where each person feels equally safe and heard from the beginning. Often, the more hesitant partner finds their footing once they're actually in the room.
We're not in crisis. Can we still come to couples therapy?
Absolutely! In many ways, this is the ideal time. Couples who seek therapy before things become severely painful have more relational goodwill, more cognitive and emotional capacity, and more space to explore and understand each other. Waiting until a relationship is in crisis often means starting therapy with both partners depleted and defensive. Many couples come because they want to understand each other more deeply, build a stronger relational foundation, work through patterns before they escalate, or simply create dedicated space for the relationship in the midst of busy lives.
What is premarital counseling, and do you offer it?
Yes. I work with teens and adolescents as well as adults. I find working with younger people meaningful. There's often an opportunity to address patterns earlier, before they become more entrenched. I tailor my approach to be accessible for younger clients. Parents are generally not present in sessions, though I'll discuss how communication is handled based on the teen's age and circumstances.
Do you work with couples in person in Newport Beach and Fullerton, or only online?
Both. I see couples for in-person sessions in Newport Beach and Fullerton, and I work with couples across California via telehealth. Couples sometimes find that in-person sessions carry a particular sense of commitment and presence that is useful in the couples work. Others find telehealth more sustainable given their schedules or geography. Either format can support genuine depth in the work — the most important thing is that both partners are able to show up consistently and honestly.
next steps
If you're looking for couples therapy in Newport Beach or Fullerton, or online anywhere in California, I'd be glad to talk. I offer a free phone consultation where we'll talk through what's bringing you in, how I might help, and whether this feels like the right fit. No pressure, no commitment.